It’s OK not to love breastfeeding.

It seems like there is so much pressure to not only breastfeed your baby, but to also make sure you LOVE doing it. When you search breastfeeding on the internet, you will find a ton of information about how it is not only the best thing for your child, but it is a wonderful way for you to bond with your child and you should feel those “warm and fuzzy” feelings.

Well. That’s not always the reality.

Now, before I go on this rant, please know that I am pro-breastfeeding all the way. The purpose of this post is for moms to know that it is OKAY not to love the process, or the demand….

‘Cause, let’s be honest, sometimes this mom stuff just sucks.

Yes, research shows us that breastfeeding has so many benefits for both you and your baby.

Yes, breastfeeding is a beautiful and wonderful thing.

Yes, it provides a way for mom to bond with her baby.

BUT…..

It’s not the ONLY way to bond with your baby —- we can snuggle them, co-sleep (no judgement here), hold them while they eat from a bottle (still no judgement here!), among many other ways to bond with our child.

AND breastfeeding can be SO STRESSFUL. Especially for first time moms who haven’t been through the process before. It’s stressful getting the baby to latch, and then once they do latch, it is stressful trying to know if they are getting enough milk from you. Are you pumping enough not to have to supplement? (and still no judgement here!). Are they gaining the appropriate amount of weight? The list of questions weighing on us as mothers is endless. Not to mention the PRESSURE of being a tiny human’s sole food source (no big deal right?)

Mama, just know that you aren’t the only mom who has been stressed out about this.  If you are struggling and want to vent, please reach out to me!  I’ve been there and I can be the person who just listens, or I can be your cheerleader!  Just know there is someone out there to talk to who has been in your shoes ♥.

AND breastfeeding FREAKING HURTS! Those rough first few weeks when you want to scream every time the baby nurses, which of course is super often at the beginning, with no break for the nips! It just doesn’t feel right that, not only do you have the sleepless nights to deal with, but also the cracked and bleeding nipples (don’t worry, I promise they do heal, head to my other post on breastfeeding essentials for products I used to cope with this).

AND breastfeeding is SO DEMANDING. With my first child, I literally felt like a COW, only being used for my milk, with absolutely no love or reciprocation of any kind. It was impossible for me get anything done, with how often she needed me to get her belly full! It was a BLOW to my expectations of what having a baby and breastfeeding was like. I was so naive. I always imagined it was like being this beautiful mom and baby so peacefully bonding in a rocking chair by the window, with the sunlight softly touching their skin.. yadadadada… yeah.. right…. There were times I literally cried because I was needed so much.

Now mama, let me say, that with my second child, I never felt this way, because I knew what to expect.  I knew what was expected of me, and I knew I could relax about it.  I look back on my breastfeeding experience with my first child, and I am sad I wasn’t able to just BE, to just be content with what I was for her, with how much milk I made for her, with how much she needed me.  With that said, she made me a better mother, and my second child has reaped the benefits of that.  I am MUCH more “whole” or “solid,” (not sure what the word is, maybe “confident”) in my ability to be in the moment with them, and just love them through the crying, whining, or tantrums.  For some women, that comes naturally, for me, it took my sweet Ember to get me there.

AND breastfeeding is kinda UNFAIR. You literally just gave your body to your baby for NINE MONTHS. Nine months of watching what you eat, or drink, or what medications you can or can’t take. And then you go through BIRTH. Birth…..the contractions, the vaginal delivery or c-section. You make it through the finish line, only to have to continue to give your body for another year of watching what you eat, or drink, or what medications will or will not pass into your milk. SO DON’T FEEL GUILTY when you want to have YOUR body back.

AND breastfeeding is EXHAUSTING. Breastfeeding leads to a new lifestyle. It’s having to think about the appropriate clothing to wear in public for easy access and making sure you pack the nursing cover. It’s getting to a new place and immediately scoping out property for a private area to use to nurse… and when there isn’t one, figuring out a plan B. It’s a new way of thinking, with pumping or nursing every three hours for months on end. It’s like this residual thought in the back of your head that you need to pump, like clockwork, in order to keep your milk supply up. And all too often, that means, pumping at work, on an airplane, in a bar (yes, I had to do that in Vegas during a bachelorette party), in the car, and literally any other place you can think of. The list goes on and on for me. You just do what you gotta do, for your baby, and that’s what I did. And while I wouldn’t change it for the world, it’s nice to be able to complain about it every now and then, because…

BREASTFEEDING IS LIKE ANOTHER JOB.

So mama, don’t feel bad when you feel the need to ask yourself “why don’t I love breastfeeding?”  Because the truth is, breastfeeding can be really hard.  Do you know anyone that loves to do something that is really hard?  It’s normal.  We do it for our babies, we do it for the benefits that research tells us there are, we do it for those moments that our littles fall asleep in our arms while nursing, knowing that we’ve given ourselves to our baby.  

Women want to be able to do the right thing, and when you read about someone’s experience “loving breastfeeding,” I think it is because we love being able to carry out the “right thing” for our baby, we love being able to experience something that, in the grand scheme of things, lasts for such a short while. 

I am currently down to one nightly nursing session a day,  with my second child who is now 14 months old.  I finally weaned myself from the breast pump (woohoo!) and I know I will be sad when we finally close this chapter completely, just how I was sad when my first child weaned herself from the breast. Closing this chapter means that are moving on, growing up… sigh…

Why is it that, after all the hardships that come with breastfeeding, I am sad when it ends? 

Because it’s something special that no one else gets to have with my child, but me.  That’s where the “love breastfeeding” comes from. 

So no matter where you are in your breastfeeding journey, I applaud you. This breastfeeding thing deserves at least that.

Reach out to me!  I’d love to hear about your journey.

Love, Brittany