My Precious Boy, A Birth Story | Heart of a Mountain Mama

Well, it’s about that time that I sit down and write up little Ashen’s birth story. It is truly amazing, how no story is the same, yet they are equally as beautiful. I’m almost two weeks post-partum and life has been so wonderful. Ashen is such a good baby! Here goes…

A little bit of background information. At my 36 week appointment, I was told that Ashen was measuring in at 7lbs 8oz. Needless to say, with Ember being a 5 pound baby (you can read her birth story here), I was super upset because I was nervous I wouldn’t be able to push out a bigger baby. So I tried to be proactive and completed one round of the miles circuit to get the baby in the optimal position. At my 37 week appointment, I measured at a loose 1cm dilated, and 50% effaced. The doctor that I saw reassured me that most babies will get into optimal position on their own and that I was likely to have a vaginal delivery. She also mentioned that the baby had dropped, so I was progressing nicely. At the time, I was drinking 3 cups of raspberry tea per day to tone up the uterus, I had done some perineal massaging (but I stopped due to swelling and the doctor mentioned that if I could push slowly, the baby’s head would naturally stretch everything), and I bounced on my yoga ball (as much as my little girl would let me, haha). My overnight bag had been packed at 33 weeks, just in case I went into labor early again.

Day of labor: August 17, 2018; As you may know from the about me section, my husband, Justin, is a firefighter. He was on his 24 hour shift, so to set the stage, it’s just me and my little girl at home. I had texted my family and Justin, letting them know that I had felt the baby drop even more. I cleaned the house, not because I had a burst of energy, but because Justin’s dad was coming in from out of town in the next few days so I had to get his room ready. My dad had called me to see how I was feeling, and I told him I felt great, no signs I was going into labor. 7PM rolled around and it was time for me to give Ember a bath. We went upstairs and I got her into the tub. At 7:11PM I felt a contraction that made me look at the time. At 7:15PM, I was sitting in Indian style, when I felt the baby sweep his hand at the lowest point of the amniotic sac and then my water broke! I know they say it isn’t possible for the baby to break the amniotic sac, but I swear, I felt him run his hand across it and it broke! I sat there for (a long) 5 seconds thinking to myself, oh my gosh, this is happening! When my water broke with Ember, it was tiny amounts at a time. When my water broke this time, it was almost alarming how much water I had lost. I got up, grabbed a towel (that did not help whatsoever) and tried to organize my thoughts as to what I was supposed to do next!

I called Justin – no answer. I called my mom- told her that my water broke, she was at Walmart and would call me back. I called my sister, Allie, once- no answer, twice- no answer. I called my dad, thankfully he answered and was heading to my house. I called Justin again – no answer. I called the fire station – NO ANSWER. I called Justin and Allie once more, both no answers.

“Get Ember out of the tub” was my next thought. I got her out of the bath and carried her downstairs, all while I was leaking everywhere! I got a diaper on her and then called the nurse who was on call. I needed to know if I had to head to the hospital immediately since my water broke. While I was on the phone with her, my contractions were about 5 minutes apart. Since they were so close, she advised me to head to the hospital. She did not advise me to drive myself and said if I didn’t have anyone to drive me, I should call the ambulance. I STILL did not have anyone to watch my daughter. I called my mom and asked her what I was supposed to do. She said that my dad was on his way and would be at my house shortly and to relax. I quickly got off the phone and called Justin again (7:43PM)- no answer. I called the station and his chief answered. I asked if Grayless was there, his response, “he is off getting fuel.” I told him “please let him know that my water broke.” He replied “I’ll do that,” and I hung up. I called my dad, he was about 10 minutes away. Allie called me and was on her way as well, about 15 to 20 minutes out. I then received a phone call from a number I did not know, and it was Justin. He had been on a call when I was trying to get a hold of him. He was called over the radio at work, to call the station. When he was told that my water broke, his response was “are you joking with me?” (haha!). I very quickly filled him in on everything, contractions still 5 minutes apart. He was on his way to the hospital (about an hour and a half away!). I knew that I needed someone to watch Ember immediately and luckily, I have a friend of mine that lives on the road behind our house. I called her and asked her if she was home. She said yes, and immediately I broke down crying. I told her that my water broke, she asked if Justin was home, I replied no, she said she was on her way.

My brother was returning to Knoxville that evening, after spending the summer in California, and my other sister, Kaylee, was already heading into town with her husband for the weekend. My dad later commented that it felt like the whole thing had been rehearsed. The troops had formed and everything was underway.

My friend arrived, and five minutes later, my dad arrived. Allie would arrive about 10 minutes later to keep Ember for me. I kissed and hugged my little girl good-bye, knowing that the next time I saw her, she would have a little brother to meet (I’m tearing up writing this). It was such a special moment for me that I will never forget ♥.

With my overnight bag already packed and in the car, my dad and I headed to the hospital. Keeping track of the contractions, they were still 5 minutes apart. I called Justin to keep him informed and to see where he was. He was a nervous wreck to say the least. He told me it was raining hard, that there was so much traffic, and that he was next to a state trooper. I told him that I just needed him to do his best to get here (all while I was trying to stay calm, haha).

When I got to the hospital (8:10PM) and was getting checked in, my contractions were 2 minutes apart. My mom arrived ten minutes later. The doctor on call examined me and I was 2cm dilated and 70% effaced. I told him that “slow pushing” was really important to me when it came time to push, as I was really nervous about tearing. He acknowledged my request and told me he would be back to check me in 4 hours. I called Justin to let him know that he had time, and everything was fine. My brother arrived at 9PM. Justin arrived at 9:05PM. What a relief it was to see him! I was so happy he had made it ♥

I was moved to a delivery room. My goal was to labor naturally if possible. I really focused on staying relaxed through the contractions with the hope that I would dilate faster. Justin counted through the contractions for me. We both knew from Ember’s birth, that I needed him to count in order for me to get through them. For the first 4 hours I labored on the bed, reclined. At 12:30AM, I still had not been seen by the doctor.

I had hoped that my sister’s friend, a labor and delivery nurse, would have been on shift when I went into labor. Unfortunately, she wasn’t, but she did come in to see how I was doing! She brought me a bottle of wine to celebrate ♥. She had mentioned to me that if the doctor hadn’t been by to examine me that I could ask my nurse to do it. When she left, Justin mentioned I should try a different position, so I labored in the squatting position with support from his legs through a few of the contractions.

At 12:59AM, I had my nurse examine me. I was 3cm dilated and 90% effaced. I knew that I was still making progress, so I was happy with this. My nurse suggested that I change positions to help with the progression. She recommended that I try standing, bent over the bed with a yoga ball. So I gave it a try. When I moved to this position, the contractions went to a whole new level. I probably made it through about 3 contractions in that position before I dropped to the floor and labored on all fours for the next hour to an hour and a half with a yoga ball. I thought I had known what rough contractions were like with Ember, but I was wrong. I could no longer moan through the contractions without going to a high pitched yell through gritted teeth. It was like I was trying to escape my own body. My brother had to leave the room because he couldn’t watch me be in that much pain. My mom and Justin began taking turns at trying to relax me as much as possible. Justin would rub my back, and then my mom would take over. I appreciated this, as I tried my best to focus on where I was being touched through my contractions.

At this point, I knew that Justin was ready for me to get an epidural. I just kept remembering that the birth instructor of the class we took when I was pregnant with Ember, had mentioned that when the woman typically wants to quit, that she is likely close to the end. I moved to the bed, remaining in the same position as I was in on the floor, and Justin leaned down to me and said “you don’t have to continue to go through this, you can get checked again and then make a decision.” So that is what I did. At 3:15AM, the nurse examined me and I was dilated to 4cm, 100% effaced. I knew that I couldn’t go on in that amount of pain for hours longer. I told the nurse that I wanted the epidural and the order was put in. In the meantime, I was given fentanyl to ease the pain until the anesthesiologist arrived. As with my previous labor, I felt no relief. I apparently even asked for a second dose, although that memory is really fuzzy to me now, haha.

At 3:45AM, the epidural arrived. That thing is no joke. The anesthesiologist was great at letting me know what was going on as he prepped me. It is really hard to stay in the correct position through the contractions that I was experiencing. I even remember him asking my nurse how long I had been laboring that way before I asked for the epidural. When the needle came, I (once again) jumped and immediately apologized. I had done the same thing with Ember and was actually really focused on staying still. Once everything was placed, he told me he had to run a test to make sure I didn’t experience any side effects of the epidural. What he didn’t mention, however, was the pain that would be associated with the test. I felt pain of whatever was going through the epidural catheter, that I gasped for air. At that point, Justin later told me, that he almost passed out. I was so thankful once that part was over and I could lie down.

4:15AM, the nurse examined me again and in 30 minutes, I had dilated another 2cm, to 6cm in total. The baby had dropped to -1. The epidural did not take all the way again, and thankfully, I had full control over the left side of my body and could still move my right leg from side to side. I rolled to my left side with a peanut ball placed between my legs in hopes that things would continue to progress.

At this point, we were all so exhausted. From 4:30-5:30AM, my mom, dad, and brother slept, as well as me and Justin. Poor Justin sat on a chair and laid his head on the bed I was sleeping on, so that we would stay close to each other. It was not a good sleep, but it was still some kind of rest that we could get before a brand new day with our new baby arrived. Without the epidural, that absolutely would not have been possible.

At 6:35AM, the nurse examined me, I was 9.5cm dilated with an anterior lip, 100% effaced, and the baby had dropped to +2. The doctor had come in shortly after that and was told these results. He said “I’ll be seeing you shortly.” At 7AM, I was dilated to 10cm and was ready to push!

I said bye to my dad and brother, who waited in the lobby. The doctor and multiple nurses filed into the room for the delivery. At this point, my current nurse had been replaced with a new nurse, who I luckily liked just as much. I remember telling the doctor, “so we are going to push really slowly right?” He had nodded yes, and I said “ok, just wanted to make sure we are on the same page.”

At 7:15AM the nurse started counting for me to push. Justin was standing to my left, while my mom stayed in the background with the camera. During my first push, the doctor was sat back watching and told me “great job.” I asked if he could see the head. He said yes and asked if I wanted a mirror so that I could see as well. Well of course! The nurse brought me the mirror and I was able to watch the entire delivery. I could still feel the contractions, so I knew when to push. I still had feeling in my legs, so I was able to hold my own legs and actively participate in the delivery. I asked the doctor if I was supposed to push slowly so that I wouldn’t tear. He told me to push as hard as I could until he told me otherwise. So that’s exactly what I did. Once the head was very visible, the doctor stretched me between pushes. All of the nurses, my husband and mom, were so supportive and amazed at how quickly I was pushing. In 11 minutes of pushing, our baby Ashen Marcus was born at 7:26AM at 7lbs 5oz and 20 inches long. He was given an APGAR score of 8 at 1 minute and 9 at 5 minutes (which is exactly what his sister was).

The doctor was fantastic. He examined me for any tears, and I had none! I thanked him repeatedly for the extra effort he had put in for me, and he told me that I had done all the work :). I even had a hemorrhoid a few weeks prior that I was nervous would come back even worse after pushing out a baby, but it never did! I was ecstatic.

It was such a BEAUTIFUL birthing experience. Again, it was a love at first site moment for me. I was so overjoyed to meet him and my heart grew in that moment. Ashen was placed on my chest, wiped down and left for me to do skin on skin with him for an hour! Since he was born at 38 weeks, it was a different experience than Ember who was born at 35 weeks. It was so much calmer, and Ashen wasn’t even taken from me to get weighed until after our hour was over. I will say that compared to Ember, he felt like such a big baby! Haha! He was immediately alert and wide-eyed and when he heard my voice, you could see that he knew who I was. It absolutely melted my heart. It felt like a long journey to get there, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Justin and I were the new proud parents of a beautiful baby boy.

Once again, I was able to have my victory drink, following the delivery. It was the best coke I had ever had, coming in at a tie with the coke I had following Ember’s birth.

I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep in the day to come with a new baby but it was worth every minute of tiredness to see and hold our new bundle of joy. Allie brought our little girl to meet her new brother and it was the most perfect moment I could have ever asked for. We even bought her a stuffed animal bear to be from her new brother, but when she came in and saw Ashen, he was the only thing that mattered to her. She wanted to be a big girl and hold him on her own immediately. She patted his head and with assistance, held her little brother. Our hearts were full.